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t was the middle of 1983 and I had constant dreams of earthquakes, buildings collapsing and spasms of intense heat being released from my lower back. I thought Hatha Yoga would somehow help me. There was a great emptiness in my life, and I kept desiring for something I couldn’t explain or understand. I had just finished a Hatha Yoga class and was waiting for a bus. A picture flashed into my mind of a woman dressed in a long white gown, with long black hair. She was standing in a wooded area with cabins and there were little stones on the ground. This vision disappeared just as quickly as it entered my head, but then a calmness entered my being.

That evening, after dinner, I rested on the couch while my son played with his toys. Suddenly, my hands felt very heavy and strong sensations flashed through my palms and fingers. I sat on the floor. My hands opened, as if ready to receive something. Then I heard a powerful sound coming from way above my head, a rushing sound, like a wind blowing. The sound came down and pierced the top of my head and then filled my whole being. I knew that this was something good and powerful. My son had also opened his hands and felt this energy. I don’t know how long this lasted, maybe one minute, maybe fifteen minutes.

For the next three weeks after this experience I felt a peace and joy that are hard to explain. I was in a state of being where nothing bothered me. I desired nothing and I needed nothing. My son was constantly at my side because he was also feeling these vibrations.

Three months later, in September 1983, Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi came to the United States for a big and important tour. I went to Her public program and the next month, October, we had a weekend seminar in northern New York state in Shri Mataji’s presence. Having then more time to be near Shri Mataji, I began to realize that She was not just any ordinary woman, but a woman of great depth, beauty, and grace.

One beautiful evening Shri Mataji spoke to us for some time and then we enjoyed some bhajans, Indian devotional songs. It was quite late and everybody was preparing to go to bed, but I felt a strong desire to go outside for a walk. I realized I had been seeking Shri Mataji all my life and She had been the woman in my vision.

On my way back to the cabin, I passed the house where Shri Mataji was staying. I looked all around me and saw the cabins and the wooded area that I had seen in my vision months before. I even felt the little stones under my feet. I had finally come home!

Some time later, I was starting to establish myself in Sahaja Yoga. I wrote Shri Mataji a letter which contained the basic questions that all seekers desire to have answered. The questions were “Who is God? Who are we? What are we doing here? Why are we here?” Would She answer these questions?

Some time after sending the letter, I had a beautiful dream. Shri Mataji appeared dressed in a pure white sari and holding the letter in her hand.

“I am aware.” She simply said, and I awoke from this dream and could only smile because peace and tranquillity filled my whole being. A couple of days later, I was sitting on a bench in front of my son’s school waiting for him to come out. Watching the mothers waiting for their children, I started to think about Shri Mataji. All of a sudden my Kundalini rose so quickly and so spontaneously. I felt it on the top of my head very strongly. My whole attention was there and then I saw all the people coming together, as if they were all one. I heard their voices very far away. Then my eyes closed and two dreams that I had experienced many years before flashed into my mind. Then miraculously my Sahasrara chakra opened fully.

What I saw is quite difficult to explain. I saw the whole universe in total harmony! There was order, peace and stillness. God was like a great, huge, white, shining planet of radiant energy. He was a state of being of pure total joy and peace, full of limitless knowledge. Around God were little shining planets very similar to Him and containing His same qualities. This picture of astounding beauty and radiance lasted for only a short time.

When I reached home, I felt as if I had to eat something, although I really wasn’t hungry. As I ate a hastily prepared sandwich, my Kundalini again rose and I felt it very strongly. As I ate, I felt as if I were two separate beings. My physical body was just a mechanical thing, functioning like a machine, but my Kundalini was flowing freely and strongly and the joy it gave me is hard to explain. She was my spirit! She was alive and radiant! She permeated my whole being with love and peace.

Her Holiness Shri Mataji graciously granted me the answers to questions I had wanted to know all my life. Who are we? We are nothing but the Spirit. We are the Great Mother’s children who are now on the way to Her Kingdom. God and His Shakti are vibrations of life and peace and we are made in their image. Let us be worthy of this great honour.
Anna M.

Powerful meditation

During a meditation after the Lord’s Prayer, I saw a very strong bright light pass through the Agnya chakra, at the level of the forehead. I didn’t feel my body any more. It was silent. I had entered into the Kingdom of God.
The greatest experience I had was to see the manifestation of Shri Ganesha. lt is very difficult to meditate when the heart is closed. I begged Shri Ganesha, who is in all the chakras, to open my heart only for one minute just to express my love to You. Suddenly, a fireball, a warm light — I could really see it — raised from Mooladhara chakra at the base of the backbone to my heart and tears came out of my eyes. I cannot describe this feeling. Our quest is to become the Spirit. After a short time the fireball returned the same way, back to Mooladhara and I regretted so much to have only asked for one minute.
Brigitte S.

Shri Mataji came to New York in about 1982 approximately a year after I’d become a yogi. The local Sahaja Yoga leader had explained over the months that Shri Mataji works on several levels, both on the conscious and subconscious levels. She said that Shri Mataji often worked on us in the dream state, but sometimes we just imagined Shri Mataji was in our dreams. I didn’t really understand.
I was extremely excited and I dreamt of Her. The dream was set at a public programme and Shri Mataji turned and pointed Her right Visshuddhi (index) finger at me. This chakra is connected with Lord Krishna.

“Open your mouth!” She said in the dream. Her command was so direct that when I awoke, my mouth was wide open.

The day of Shri Mataji’s programme arrived and the question of Her presence in the dream kept surfacing. Finally, in my heart, I begged Shri Mataji to put the question to rest: ‘Were You really in my dream telling me to open my mouth?’

Shri Mataji proceeded with her talk but my internal questions kept surfacing. Then, amazingly enough, Shri Mataji began telling a story of little Lord Krishna. She spoke of how the mischievous toddler loved to steal the butter, thus weakening the strength of the devils who battled the righteous. Shri Mataji spoke of how one day Shri Krishna’s mother was preparing some food, when the butter disappeared. She asked him where the butter was and the ever-playful Shri Krishna shook His head.

“Open your mouth, open your mouth,” His mother commanded. In His mouth was the sight of the universe. Shri Mataji had given me my answer, not only the answer of my dream, but the answers of the universe.

America is the country corresponds to the Visshuddhi chakra as far as the world goes. It is at the level of the throat in the body, and of course this is the chakra of Shri Krishna.
Andrea C.

I still have this wonderful image of Shri Mataji standing by a sofa in one of the sahaja yogi’s houses, and pointing at some hand-drawn diagram of the chakras and explaining it to us and having my first footsoak sitting in front of Shri Mataji. One of the Sahaja Yogis brought a basin of salty water and Shri Mataji was working on me with limes. The amazing thing was that I allowed it all to happen, because my background had been twelve years in a Methodist school, plus at that time I was a newly qualified aerospace engineer just out of college, with all that skepticism. Whatever Mother did during those sessions cleared me out quite a lot because the next time I met Her in Caxton Hall I experienced spiritual ecstasy.

There were relatively few people in the room. At each program, She would sit down and close Her eyes and those who were Sahaja Yogis would also close their eyes. But I would always watch what was going on, still being rather curious. On this particular day, which was the 8th of April 1978, I was watching Shri Mataji very closely and She opened Her eyes and looked straight at me. And then something very amazing happened.

She just gazed at me and I felt as though I was being pulled into Her eyes. The next thing I knew, I was being whirled into this cosmic flux, going back through time and experiencing all those things that I had studied in history whizzing past me. It is truly hard to describe. I distinctly saw/heard/smelt/felt certain objects like a sabre-tooth tiger, the universe, planets, etc., until it came back to “the beginning.” And then there was nothing, just nothing. And, in the middle of this nothingness was Shri Mataji.

It just encompassed me, this complete silence which was like a thick transparent sphere of silence. I was feeling complete love and compassion flowing out of me, and I was in tune with everything. All of nature, all of life was living and breathing with me. My every gesture made ripples and waves in this completely interlinked creation. All this lasted for three days and nights, where I was in a perpetual state of ecstasy. It is impossible to describe.

Now the interesting thing is that after I had this experience, I went back home and wrote a letter to Mother, just apologizing for having not known who She is. And the next time when I went down to London, which was the following weekend, Shri Mataji came up on stage and looked straight at me and said: “Bala, that was a beautiful letter you wrote me.” And then She told the people that I had had a very special experience and after the meeting She invited me to Her home.

Then my dream came true when I went to India. I could only stay for one month, instead of two months, the normal length of those early tours, I went to explain to Shri Mataji that I had to leave early. Shri Mataji asked me to come and sit next to Her while She ate Her lunch. She held my hand. Whilst talking to other people in the room as well, She’d turn around and chatted to me and asked me whether I’d bought my husband a nice present and how my children were. I had never told Her I had children and a husband and nor had anyone else, as far as I know. I live in Australia. I sat for about twenty minutes, then all of a sudden She turned around and said:
“Go on, give me a kiss.”

She put Her arms around me and I responded likewise. She kissed my cheek and me Hers. I felt Her hair on my cheeks and was in such bliss that I can’t remember leaving Her presence, only arriving back in the adjoining room.
Wendy B.

Not long before I met Shri Mataji, when I was five years old, my parents and I were going through a very rough patch in our lives and I had a dream that this Indian lady, who I later realised was Shri Mataji, was standing at the prow of a barge looking at me. She said with great love in Her eyes:
“Don’t worry, I’ll come and get you soon.” In the dream She was wearing a sari which had spots on it and I remembered it very clearly. I also had another dream where She came to see us in a beige Mercedes.

My parents went to meet Shri Mataji down in London. I didn’t go down there, but Mother came up to our house in Scotland with a lot of the Sahaja Yogis. I was only very small then, but knew that She was a great person.

When She arrived, Her car pulled up and it was a beige Mercedes. This was 1979. She got out of the car and She was wearing exactly the same sari as She had been wearing in the dream, so I knew exactly who She was.

Some time ago in Kenya, Mutua, a good brother yogi, who at that time used to work for me, invited me to his village. Since I had a few days holiday, we took this opportunity to go and meet his family and friends. We were four yogis going to Kibwezi – men, including Mutua, and one lady, all living in the same house, two hours south of Nairobi. We stayed three days, in the beautiful countryside around the village, going from one point to another and giving a few small programs, where about thirty or more people got their Realization, with many kids escorting us everywhere.

On the last day, Mutua told me, “There is a last important person you have to visit – my father. He knows there is a foreigner in the village, so he is waiting for us.” It was like a kind of “protocol visit.” So we went towards the place where his father used to live. I just took one picture of Shri Mataji with me. As we were coming closer to the little hut where the old man lived alone, I was wondering what to say him and then just left it to Mother.

When we reached his place, I saw a very old man getting out of his hut. He was ninety-four years or so. We greeted the mzee – a very respectful term meaning “old man” in Kiswahili – with due respect, Mutua and I, always accompanied by the gaggle of kids gently buzzing around us. Since I did not know what to say after greeting him, I just told him, “We have come here to bring you this Lady,” showing him the picture of Shri Mataji.

We sat down on little chairs just placed for us outside the hut and he immediately stared at the photograph and we all fell into meditation. I don’t remember how long it was, but it was deep. The old man was facing his son, who was holding the photograph. I just put my hand above the mzee’s head. As we all felt the joy of the strong kundalini rising, the mzee told Mutua in his mother tongue,
“I know this Mama. She came yesterday. It was night. I was sleeping and She came in my room. It was exactly this Lady, but She was black.”
We were drinking his words. “So what happened?”
“She came close to my bed, smiling, and gave me a little slap on my shoulder, saying, ‘Wake up, now!’ and then She walked out of the hut laughing and laughing.”
And still gazing at Mother’s picture, he added, “It was Her! The same lady, but She was black!”

Didier G., African Sahaja Yoga newsletter, volume one, October 2002

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